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When To Ignore Your Dog…And When Not To
Curious about when to ignore your dog..and when not to? Great! This means you’re (most likely) aware there could be advantages and disadvantages to ignoring them that can help or hurt your training. There are many instances when ignoring your dog can help communicate to them that you don’t like what they are doing, like the typically unwanted behaviors of barking, pawing, and jumping. More on this in a bit. On the other hand, ignoring your dog’s good behavior, or in other words, failing to praise and reward them for desired behaviors, like sitting, laying down, coming, and even “simple”* calmness, can set back your training.
*There’s a misconception that simple is easy, which is not necessarily, and often rarely true. When prompted to reward their dog’s calmness, many pet parents have replied, “But my dog is not doing anything” and are resistant to reward them. Eek! They are doing a lot! They are resisting the urge to jump, bark, paw, or any other unwanted behavior, and if we don’t reward that choice quickly, they may change their mind and return to what’s rewarding for them AND are less likely to be calm next time.
Let’s Talk About Praise & Rewards
Praise is the verbal marker that lets your dog know you like what they are doing. As you can imagine, praise can sound different based on your location*, but most English-speaking pet parents use “Good”, “Yes”, “Nice”, or click the clicker. Your dog should love to hear one or perhaps a few of these words because good things like food, toys, or petting follow. Of course, not all dogs love all of these things. Rewards are the things or experiences (treats, toys, petting) you give to your dog because they perform a desired behavior. Your dog determines what it is rewarding. Some dogs love a swim, while others run away at the sight of water. Berlin, my Shepard mix before Neah, wouldn’t even put string cheese in her mouth but she’d come running salivating if I took out American cheese from the refrigerator.Your dog determines what is rewarding.
Neah, my current Shepard mix, was not originally a huge fan of having her paws touched, let alone her nails trimmed. In fact, though she loves belly rubs and chest scratches, in the beginning touching her feet and trimming her nails was a punishment. So we set out on the mission to help her feel relaxed and at ease with regular nail care.
I’m happy to share that today, after 2.5 months of almost daily desensitization and conditioning, Neah laid down comfortably and after using a file to individually trim her nails, we used the grinder on two of her nails successfully and then ended for the day. We didn’t want to push too much too soon!!
Of course, it may not sound like much, but for a dog who was rejected by the Vet’s grooming staff not once but twice, even with the use of situational anti-anxiety medication, this is a huge step!
*Dogs in France probably learn “Oui” while dogs in Mexico learn “Si”. Whatever the word (or sound…”click”), as long as something rewarding follows, the word (or sound) will become a conditioned reinforcer, meaning it marks (like X marks the spot) desired behavior and predicts good things like treats, toys, and petting.
When To Ignore Your Dog
If used on purpose for training, ignoring your dog is referred to as negative punishment (removing something your dog likes in order to reduce the likelihood your dog repeats a behavior).
When ignoring your dog you are subtracting (hence, negative) your attention or even your entire body by leaving their space/the room (a punishment, assuming they like your presence), which communicates you don’t like what they were doing immediately prior to your departure (jumping, biting, barking, etc).
Other examples of negative punishment can also include removing their access to a room, their favorite toy, etc.
This alone will not cause the problem behavior to go extinct (cease/disappear). You must also teach your dog what you’d like them to do instead through short, regular training sessions. It’s only fair! Otherwise, how do they know what alternate behavior is rewarding when a friend comes over, or the mail is dropped off, or whatever else inspires their unwanted behavior?
Trainer Story: When I’m with a new private dog training client I’ll play a “game” with them.
I pick something out about their position. For instance, if I see their legs crossed with their hands on their lap, I’ll state, “Don’t put your hands on your lap.” Going along with me, they place their elbows on the table with their palms on the table. I’ll state, “Don’t put your elbows on the table.” Again, they comply and lift their elbows. I’ll state, “Don’t put your palms on the table. They start to look at me with a little side-eye and lift their palms begrudgingly…and we begin to discuss that at some point, they’ll ask themselves,
“Why am I doing this? What in it for me?”
It’s much more constructive if I ask, “Could you place your hands on your head?” and then give them their favorite snack. This is where I hand them a pantomime plate filled with [insert favorite snack here].
Now let’s say next time they put their hands on their head, hoping for that snack, I ignore them. They might try again one, even two or more times, but if I continue to ignore that desired behavior, they’ll stop offering it and maybe even go back to unwanted behaviors…that they find rewarding. Eek!
Some Instances You May Want To Ignore Your Dog Are*
- Barking
- Begging
- Jumping
- Pulling On Leash
- Pawing
- Stealing Items
*Remember, ignoring your dog alone will not cause the problem behavior to go extinct (cease/disappear). You must also teach your dog what you’d like them to do instead through short, regular, rewarding training sessions. It is also not wise to allow your dog to continue to jump on grandma, steal dangerous items, or pull toward someone on a bicycle expecting them to stop these behaviors on their own. Safety first—Manage and be consistent!
When Not To Ignore Your Dog
When your dog does something, from your perspective it’s either desired, undesired, or neutral (as long as it’s not bad and you don’t mind what they are doing). That said, like us, many (all?) of their behaviors are emotionally and purpose-driven. They could be hungry, tired, either physically or mentally, excited, scared, or a variety of other feelings. Now imagine your friend, family member, or partner really wants you to do the dishes more. When they ask you to do the dishes, and you do them, they have your favorite restaurant deliver your favorite meal. Wow! You’re really going to want to do the dishes again and again. Now what if you had done them and they didn’t even acknowledge your efforts with even a “Thank you!” Not only would you not feel appreciated but you’ll be less likely to do the dishes again. So in what situations should you praise and reward your dog? So so many!
Some Instances You Should Not Ignore Your Dog Are*
- Quietly Looking Out The Window
- Sitting Near The Door To Be Leashed
- Coming To You When Called
- When They Are Running Way In Fear (Remove Them From The Scary Situation)…Triggers can include: Anything! From skateboards and vacuums to being alone and fireworks.
- Laying On Their Bed While You’re Eating
- Keeping Four Feet On The Ground At Any Time
- Choosing To Play With An Appropriate Toy
- When They Are Reactive (Remove Them From The Upsetting Situation)…Triggers can include: Anything! From people and other animals to household items and sounds, along with being touched or around particular smells.
*You will need to teach your dog how to perform desired behaviors through short, regular, rewarding training sessions. It’s only fair! If your dog is afraid or reactive toward anything, slowly work on desensitizing and counter-conditioning them to their triggers.
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